When was the last time you felt alive?

Like you were living a life of passion? No, let me re-phrase that…

Ladies, When did you last feel life’s primal beat thrum through your veins? When was the last time you were so entirely in the moment, so engaged, so ecstatic that time did not matter? When did sheer joy sweep you away and fill you with awe and light? When were you last happy? 

Consider this your wake-up call if your answer isn’t today or at least yesterday.

Did you know that life is not supposed to be dull, colorless, and comprised mostly of endless chores broken only by a few moments of relief as we drown our stress in wine and catch the latest episode of some show where we watch other people pretend to live? Nor is it supposed to be a constant struggle against weight gain, health issues, and mental depression or anxiety.

Of course, you know that! It’s a stupid question.

Everyone knows life isn’t supposed to be a stressful humdrum of an endless to-do list until we die from cancer or heart disease. It’s supposed to be about living a life of passion…right?

So, if everyone knows it, why are so many people living their one precious life as if life is just an endless to-do list of things to check off? An infinite chain of diets, losing a little weight, gaining it back, worrying about cholesterol. An endless game of comparison and dissatisfaction.

I am writing to let you in on a little secret it took me almost four decades to figure out – and I want to share it so you can skip some of the pain and jump to joy. I’m also going to give you a little step-by-step guide to help you jump off the cliff of a safe and boring have to’s and into a life of joy.

The secret is simple. So simple it’s not even a secret. 

Eliminate anything that doesn’t push you toward the life you desire. Fill your routine with activities that bring you joy and move you toward your ideal.

Thats it. It’s the simple truth behind how to escape.

“Yeah, yeah,” I hear you say, “easy for you to say, but you don’t know my situation. I have a boss, a spouse, kids, and pets and they ALL need things. I don’t even have time to hit the gym, let alone sit still for a moment and bask in the beauty of a random bird song. Sounds nice, but I’ve got a real life.”

Trust me. I understand. I have all those things too, but I don’t want to look back on my life and realize I never truly lived it, and since I have never met a woman who argued that point, I’m guessing you don’t either.

So most of my clients, friends, and random strangers I have this conversation with ask, “HOW the Heck do I make space?”

“How do I carve out time to take the actions that will lead me to the joy, health, and mental wellness I deserve? How do I eliminate anything from my routine when it all feels necessary?”

Awesome! I’m glad you asked.

You just need to remember who you are and ensure your daily habits and actions align with that person. The real you. 

Easy right? 

It is easy. And really hard, oddly. 



Isn’t it interesting that we humans get so caught up in the daily grind that we find it incredibly difficult to sit down and spend a few minutes of quiet time? We hate being busy but often find it incredibly difficult not to be.The hardest part of the steps I am about to give you is just sitting still with yourself for a few minutes and silencing that little voice in the back of your head chanting on and about wasting time.

The second most challenging thing is making the time to do it and consistently staying on track. I often set them up with weekly reminder texts with my clients to nudge them along and get a little report on how they are doing. You could replicate this by setting reminder alarms on your phone or having a friend you trust consistently check in with you. 

Before we dive into the steps, I just want to say that I hope you don’t just read this, think about doing it, and then click away from this post and never think about it again. Taking just a few minutes out of your day to do the easy (and pretty fun) actions below could be your turning point. This could be where you look back and say, “Wow, where would I be if I had not….” 

OR if you move on and forget it, you may find yourself thinking in twenty years, “Why didn’t I start sooner?” 

Ok, now that I’ve convinced you of the critical importance of this – let’s dive in.

Step One: Find a Quiet Space

Find a space where you can reflect and dream. It could be in the woods, your favorite coffee shop, or your bedroom with the door shut. Take a pen, paper, and a drink, and let yourself imagine. Remember when you were a kid? What did you imagine life would be like? What did you dream of doing in college? Write down a stream-of-consciousness list of all the things that make you happy or fill you with excitement. Don’t worry about being practical or realistic.

Step Two: List Your Dreams

As your imagination loosens up, write down everything that comes to mind. Your list could include mundane things like walking the dog or aspirational stuff like giving a TED Talk. Don’t let that little voice in your head tell you that it’s not possible. It’s not you; it’s society’s voice trying to keep you small, stuck, and miserable. Kick that voice out and let yourself dream big again. Life is short, and you deserve to live it to the fullest.

My list concerns my endless energy, glowing health, and long walks in the woods. My list talks about having time to spend with family that is completely present and not worrying about chores or things I should be doing. It mentions time spent with friends in deep conversations and some dream career goals. 

Step Three: Pick Out the Big Ones

Go through your list and circle the things that excite you the most. These are the things that are truly yours. They’re the ones that will make you happy, regardless of what anyone else thinks about them. Turn them into a vision board, write them on sticky notes, and place them on your bathroom mirror. Write a mantra that embodies those goals and reminds you of the feeling you get when you read that list.

Step Four: Do a Habit Audit

Now this is where it gets interesting. All day for the next week, I want you to ask yourself, “Is this activity leading me to my highest good? If the answer is yes, GREAT! If the answer is no, dig down deeper. Why are you doing it? Is it because you feel like you have to? Is it just a habit that sneaky marketers got you to start doing (like doom scrolling?) Or is it because someone else thinks you should? Just asking yourself hourly – is this activity leading me toward my dream life – is a powerful way to bring awareness to your activities and start noticing how your choices today are molding your future.

Still feel like you will end up just racing from chore to chore because kids need to go to sports, dogs need grooming, and the bake sale cookies won’t bake themselves? Check this out – I show you how to do a simple Habit Audit in this article. It’s the one I use personally. 

Honestly, I couldn’t live without my frequent habit audits. Maybe the word audit makes you shudder, but I promise – it’s the most glorious, freeing, and life-changing audit you’ll ever do!  

Trust me, between work, coaching, a special needs baby, a teenager, a house that always needs something…I must be aware of my time, or mindless busyness creeps in faster than ants at a picnic.

This is one of my top secrets – when people ask me how I get so much done and still have time to do the things I love (like pilates, writing, meditation, and just sitting in silent spaciousness under a star-lit sky), I tell them about THE AUDIT! Despite its unfortunate name – It’s a life changer and exactly the process I guide my one-on-one high-end clients through.

Step Five: Ruthlessly Eliminate

Once you get a good idea of how much you are doing, that is NOT creating the life you desire – ruthlessly eliminate it. Cut it out. If it does not bring you joy, or serve a direct purpose that gets you where you want to be, STOP DOING IT. It really is that simple. Somehow it’s also really, really hard to do. If you get stuck – you can always apply for a free transformation call here!

Remember, it all starts with small changes. Take a step back from the endless to-do list and find your quiet space. Dream big, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve your goals. You only have one line to live, and it’s time to make it count!

Step Six: Now For the Fun Part!

Ok, so you’ve eliminated all the crap other people are telling you to do and all the mindless stuff that you didn’t need to do, and you’ve delegated and reorganized things that need to be done but are time killers, and now you have all this lovely space in your life. You bask in a feeling of spaciousness. You have time to think. To clear your mind. 

Some of your goals may change at this point – That’s ok!!

My clients are often shocked at the huge shifts that come when there is space for their minds to think and settle. Now that you have all this lovely time (if you don’t, please read the linked article about habit auditing or apply for help here), it’s time to consciously and carefully start doing the small activities that lead you to your end goal! Activities that you’ll look back on your life and glow with pride or feel satisfied or happy that you did them. For me, pilates, time to write this blog, and space to spend deep, fully present time coaching my one-on-one clients were high on my list of priorities.

Remember – life is about experiencing abundance – abundant health, abundant peace, and abundant joy. Our daily habits either guide us to that space of abundance or away from it.

If you love this message and want more abundance of health and joy in your life – click on the Wanderlust Wellness link and sign up for more!